My favourite WWE sign that I have seen in recent times is “Paul Heyman for President!” And the thing is I can really see it working. Heyman is smart, manipulative, backed by more meat than an episode of Man vs Food and sure as hell knows his stuff.
And I love him. I’m not American but if I could vote him President, I would. His character is so slimy he makes Mitt Romney uneasy and the best thing is, you already know; it wouldn’t even be a treacherous moment of discovery. The highlight of course is that this is just his character. Having not met Paul Heyman I have no way of knowing what he is like in real life, but there are plenty of Superstars (CM Punk, Brock Lesnar and Stone Cold Steve Austin to name just three) that credit Heyman with giving them the chance that they needed to make it to the big time.
Now, it is unclear how much of a role General Managers actually have in an official capacity, it is safe to assume very little, that they just like the Superstars are actors outside of the ring ‘making’ decisions given to them on a script, but if there was any actual management needed the real life Paul Heyman would be the man for the job, just like the character Paul Heyman would be perfect for his. At the time of writing it is the day before the Hell in a Cell 2012 pay-per-view and by the time of reading, this will likely already have happened or long have passed, but imagine:
And what a move by Ryback; he may have eaten Punk whole!
That’s the power of the beast, Michael, Ryback is as tough as they come. I don’t know if I have ever seen anyone with this kind of power.
Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s Brock Lesnar.
But Lesnar left WWE after his fateful Summerslam match against, Triple H.
He sure did, Michael. But this is no disqualification!
I don’t believe this; Lesnar has climbed the cage and jumped inside and is pounding Ryback. Lesnar throws Punk on Ryback’s body for the pin!
And CM Punk walks out still the WWE Champion!
In the next few weeks CM Punk cements himself as the WWE Champion with Heyman still by his side and while The Best In The World works the ring, his manager works board of directors until Paul Heyman is unveiled as the new GM of RAW. Now Eve will have been discredited and fired from Booker T’s Smackdown and probably stripped of her Divas title and so Heyman will undoubtedly bring her to RAW where she can be of some use. Layla meanwhile will have replaced Eve on Smackdown (opening up the Divas division to somebody else) and we redevelop a new Smackdown vs RAW but where RAW will dominate. Heyman can sign all the evil characters he wants; with Lesnar at his side, Heyman can grant CM Punk any match he wishes each week (using Big Show and his Iron Clad contract to get at the face characters assembled on Smackdown). It would end up with a division looking a bit like:
RAW vs Smackdown
General Manager: Paul Heyman General Manager: Booker T
(WWE Champion) CM Punk John Cena
(Projected Tag Team Champion) Damien Sandow Daniel Bryan
(Projected Tag Team Champion) Cody Rhodes Kane
(Rare Heyman Enforcer) Brock Lesnar Ryback
(Heyman Enforcer) The Big Show (Current WH Champion) Sheamus
Dolph Ziggler Rey Mysterio
Alberto Del Rio Randy Orton
(Current US Champion) Antonio Cesaro Justin Gabriel
Wade Barrett Sin Cara
Assistant: Eve Assistant: Layla
The Miz (Current Intercontinental Champion) Kofi Kingston
This allows for a whole new load of story lines and rivalries as well as continuing ones that are fairly new (Big Show v Sheamus for example has only been going on in the build up to this Pay-Per-View). It keeps Punk v Cena going until Cena is ready to take the championship, allows belts to swap hands freely and regularly, gives some meaning to the wrestlers who are currently stuck in the void like Wade Barrett and even means we can have characters turn from face to heel (and vice versa) with more anguish. After all, what happens to Dolph Ziggler when Vikki Guerrero is removed from her position and punished by Heyman?
Looking at it from a company wide point of view, it allows an ailing Smackdown to regain some momentum after the RAW 1000 hype, which it still hasn’t done and also gives the NXT guys like (the awfully named) Mike McGillicutty a chance to make a name without just being pointlessly beaten up by Superstars in useless battle as well re-invent others like Jack Swagger who have been lost with no decent character.
Even if things to not play out like this, or even if the story is nowhere near, it is clear the the future of WWE lies in its past; with Paul Heyman. People clamber for the re-birth of the Attitude Era, for the thrills that have been lost, but this is just a fantasy, locked away in the latest video game release. The Heyman Era can (And would) take influences from its long lost counterpart but must offer something completely new as well. Booker T’s utter failure of a World Heavyweight Championship debate should not see the end of WWE politics! Vote for the man who receives Boo’s for being something more than annoying. Vote for the man who even Vince McMahon thinks is slimy (and he’s been up Big Show’s ass!). Vote for change.
Vote Paul Heyman.